26 June 2019
So, after much hesitation and procrastination I finally went for the radiation treatment to combat ‘the invader’ head-on. Sometimes its best not to know everything, and to just trust the process of the pathway to healing.
Because finances were a consideration it was decided that I would have three stronger doses of radiation sessions over a span of three weeks.
For me, the first session was getting to know the procedure, and the staff who were there to assist in it. The doctor said it would be just like having a chest ex-ray. I was a little apprehensive at the unknown.
I was escorted into a large cold room and had to lie on a small hard bed, that had small supports to lift my body in the right position. The little blanket that they put over the lower part of my body, gave me a great sense of warm comfort.
A huge machine that directed the rays was placed over me, and I had to lie very still till it was all over. It only took about 20 minutes. The actual radiation was not (outwardly) dramatic at all, but inwardly it has its work to do to destroy the cancer cells.
The after effects were not as severe as I had imagined, but there was an uncomfortable burning effect, like sunburn on the skin. After a day or three it seemed to subside, and I felt a little better, but emotionally despondent, and physically fatigued.
The second session was more a formality of the same, only the after effects were not as intense. I had noticed that I had a bit of hair loss, not much though.
The third session was longer, as they had to do a few ex-rays to assess the treatment, and then the final doses of radiation was given. This process took a little longer, and in it all there was a time laps, that made me do a bit of silent introspection, lying there on that cold hard bed.
Those were just the practical processes of the treatment, but of course there is so much more going on in the mind, and my spirit writhing with all kinds of questions.
I realised in the time laps that all I had at that moment was my mind. So I decided to engage and confront my thoughts. Why was I here, I shouldn’t be here. Was it God’s will for me to be here ? Well, I thought, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t God’s will. You see because of finances I could only afford one session of radiation, and this was my third and last session. And that in itself was a miracle, because my Oncologist had arranged for me to have a special discounted rate, which included the last two sessions free – that there was to me, a miracle. That was God’s doing.
I am a little disdainful of some medical practitioners, and their medical aid rates some of who are in it for the money, and won’t spend any extra time with the patients, because the more patients they see that day the more money they make to pay off the expensive cars and holiday homes.
(Sorry that’s not all true most of the time, it’s just a bit of a vent !)
At the start of this journey I had decided that I was going to have done to me what is best for me and not just follow the ‘cancer protocol’, which I thought of as an automatic
” sausage machine.” Once you’re in it you can’t get out of it till you’re all washed up with a chemical soup, scorched or missing a body part !
But I have a good Oncologist and she worked with me with understanding, enough information for my own good, yet with a firmness, and gave me the time to make my own decisions.
So here I was, lying quietly waiting for my third session of radiation to begin. Eyeing that intimidating machine I thought to myself ‘you destroy those cancer cells today’ and the word destroy lingered just a little longer.
Then the words in 1 John 3 came to my mind which says :
Jesus was manifest to destroy the works of the devil. I realised that there was so much more going on here. There are the works of the devil, which is to steal kill and destroy and there is the work of Jesus to bring Atonement and Redemption – a package deal that includes healing and restoration. Much faith and grace required.
When the realisation dawned that God was right there with me, and in control of the situation, I began to relax and trust Him in and through it all.
Strengthened by these thoughts from Scripture, I was a little more ready for the radiation, and what was to follow.
After the third session of radiation I wilted like a flower deprived of water in poor soil.
I was tender and tired most of the time. It felt as if someone had let the air out of all four my tyres ! I was low physically, emotionally and barely hanging on spiritually, and alone, or so it felt like. But rest I did, and lots of it.
A few days after the last session a redness appeared in the armpit, and gradually the skin thinned and shed in patches, leaving a slight rawness that stinged a bit, and was very uncomfortable. The Oncologist said it was just the effect of the radiation treatment and I had to apply gentian violet to the area. So here I am with a purple arm pit ! But it brought relief, and the effect of the treatment was a softening and regression of the tumour – and that makes me happy.
My mind has turned, and looks now more attentively at the subjects of healing, and disease, and hope that the lessons that are there to be learnt will bring more understanding on this invasive disease, …. and its Healer.
….. I will put none of these diseases on you which I have bought on the Egyptians,
For I am the LORD who heals you.
30 May 2019
It is one thing to postulate your faith, it is another thing to live your faith.
Attainment was a word I used awhile ago, in trying to understand if one could attain faith ?
The just shall live by faith, says the Word. Hebrews 10:38 and Habakkuk 2:4
Perhaps it is only by living your faith that you attain it. Do you have to become an over-comer of your trials, tests, temptations and obstacles in life to attain faith ? Although I would think how else could one grow or attain faith? Has faith got levels to attain ? The Word says ‘from glory to glory’ or is it from faith to faith.
Standing unwavering on God’s promises in His Word, is the way of faith. That can take time, to wait for the manifestation of answered prayer and faith confessions – Faith and Patience.
In the meantime the tumour grows bigger and bigger. and, in my mind, edges its way ever outwards to overgrow and overtake new ground. Can faith stop it? Yes – and yet, no manifestations. God can wait, and does, but the tumour does not wait, but grows.
Decisions to make. Do I take the treatment prescribed by the Oncologist, or do I wait for God to heal?
This is my dilemma !
James 5:16 Confess your trespasses to one another; and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
15 December 2018
WAR AND PEACE
“Peace on earth ! ” the angels sang, but the One born as Messiah to bring salvation to all peoples said He didn’t come to bring peace but a sword. It is interesting that in the talk about love, there is also talk of war.
Joshua 23: 9-13 speaks about war against the enemy nations, but this is closely related to loving Yahweh. When you pick a side, you automatically are at war with the other side.
Peace is possible, but it exists in the context of conflict.
There were always two agendas or programmes for the Messiah. We usually focus on redemption because it tells a lovely story, a heroic one of a life laid down for others, of sacrifice to produce a solution, of blood shed for sinners.
In one sense it is the most wonderful story, but it is also foolishness to anyone looking in from the outside. Yet it is the story of God rescuing a deceived and depraved humanity from the clutches of death.
But for redemption to be won it took the greatest cosmic battle of the ages. This was the Kingdom programme. It was a fight to the death where the One who lost His life won the war. It was a direct assault on the strongholds of occupation, a battle to undo and destroy all the works of an enemy, to deal decisively with the opposition.
Love went to war and won.
Peace divides families and nations. There can be no negotiating with sin, evil, death and Satan. it is always a win-lose situation. Joshua said “Don’t even make friends with them” And that is good advice when it comes to the kingdom of darkness, the realm of this world. Instead of trying to be acceptable to the world, we need to save them.
If the Messiah came with a sword, why are we so passive and tolerant?
Peace on earth is our battle-cry against the gates of hell we storm.
Extract from the writing of Alan Webster’s Quiet Time dated 15.12.2018
Following on from the Home page post : Lessons from my Ostrich. Lessons from My Ostrich
Matthew 7 : 1- 5
Judge not, that you be not judged.
For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged;
and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.
And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?
Hypocrite ! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your bother’s eye.
12 March 2018
THE ART OF WISDOM.
LIGHT SHAPES SHADING SHADOWS FORMS OBJECTS AND DARKNESS
Without objects, – which have shapes and when shaded create forms and forms create shadows – light cannot be revealed. Light can shine into darkness, but light needs an object as a witness to the light
Darkness, which is there, and which is unknown cannot be revealed without light !
What wonders do the darkness hold, and what horrors go untold, until the light reveals the secrets darkness hold.
Art in many ways, creates pictures of objects, and demonstrates this observation, as this is the foundation of art – light colliding with an object creates a shape, produces a shading, that makes a shadow. To bring clarity, proportion and perspective need to find their places in the whole created picture.
Is this not, in some manner, the way of Wisdom too ? Does one not need to have knowledge (light/revelation/truth) that will show up the objective, to understand the proportion and have the right perspective, in order to have understanding, that will enable the right decision to plot a way forward – in the darkness.
Of course there is still the darkness, the unknown. And the darkness keeps unfolding, but light has been given once and for all, the light is always there – but it needs to be seen and to be acknowledged, or else we will not see the shading, the shadows and the darkness, and so see matter only in one dimension.
This is what I gleaned from the drawing classes I decided to take with a very good art teacher, who has opened up a whole new way for me to look at things, and see things, that have always been there, but that I had never “seen” before. And all this by taking up a sharp pointed pencil, a sketch book – and good instruction This is what art can do for you.
Seeing the light, is the basis for art , knowing the Light is the basis for life.
John 8 : 12 Then Jesus spoke to them again saying ” I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness but have the light of life”
27 March 2017
What is Darkness?
To the logical mind, Darkness is the absence of Light.
According to Google Darkness is still a mystery – Darkness is Dark Matter.
What is Dark Matter ?
Dark Matter is no baryonic at all, but that it is made up of other , more exotic particles like axions or Wimps (Weakly Interacting Massive Particles).
Dark Matter, this bizarre ingredient does not emit light or energy.
Dark Matter makes up most of the universe but we can only detect it from its gravitational effects (waves)
Dark Matter is five times more prevalent than ordinary matter.
It seems to exist in clumps around the universe, forming a kind of scaffolding on which visible matter coalescence into galaxies.
The nature of Dark Matter is unknown, but Physicists suggest its like visible matter, is made up of particles.
What is Dark Energy ?
According to Google again, Dark Energy is an unknown form of energy which is hypothesized to permeate all of Space, tending to accelerate the expansion of the Universe.
What is a Black Hole ?
“Black Holes are extremely dense, with so much gravity that even light cannot escape them. Within a Black hole, the known laws of physics go out the window. There could be around 100 million Black Holes within the Milky Way galaxy, and estimate billions upon billions more in the Universe.” – Ref: http://www.symmetrymagazine.com
What is Gravity ?
“Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity, put simply states that Space and Time curve in the presence of Mass, (weight – heaviness, I ask ?) and that this curvature produces the effect known as gravity.”
“Gravitational waves may not illuminate the so-called Dark Energy that is thought to make up the majority of that obscurity, but they will enable us to survey Space and Time as we never have before” – Ref : blog on http://www.newyorker.com
So it would seem that Darkness is no small matter !!
Yet again, on another level, keeping the two parallel universe concept in mind.
Could Darkness be a person, a created being, a powerful force?
Isaiah 45:7 says : I form the light and create darkness.
And so a battle for dominance commences between Light and Darkness – and therein surely must lie an epic story written, and waiting to be told. In fact the fight between good and evil, Light and Dark are at the very heart of all that matters, and often form the very basis of many many stories already told, universal stories that grip our hearts and our worlds, for deep down we all have the knowledge of what is good and what is bad. After all Adam ate the fruit that Eve gave him,…. once upon a time in a garden.
IN SEARCH OF LIGHT
What is light?
According to the Internet and Wikipedia ” Light is electromagnetic radiation within a certain portion of the electromagnetic spectrum. The word usually refers to visible light.”
A particle of light is called a photon, which is made up of electromagnetic radiation.
Like all types of light , visible light is emitted and absorbed in tiny “packets” called photons and exhibits properties of both waves and particles.
But light is not just electro magnetic radiation, it also distinguishes between two parallel universes :
Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and he earth.
2.The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.
3. Then God said, Let there be light, and there was light
4. And God saw the light that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness.
5. God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. So evening and morning were the first day.
Thus a two paralleled universe : The power of Darkness and the Kingdom of Light.
On another level, Light can also be a person, like of Jesus Christ.
John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2. He was in the beginning with God
3. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.
4. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.
5. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.
Colossians 1:12 giving thanks to the Father Who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light
13. He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us in the kingdom of the Son of His love.
So the scene – Our reality, the physical world – is set for God’s story. A story which plays itself out in two parallel universes, the power of darkness and the kingdom of light. And God goes to work to create the scene, in which the story will unfold in Space – ( height, depth and width) and time, which equals “Space-time” – our physical universe, the material world – all made with matter = particles = light, and thus our known reality.
Then comes the creation story, where God created all things, and then His crowning creation Mankind which He made and breathed His life into – and set him, Adam, in a garden, the Garden of Eden.
The story will unfold, but keep in mind :
Then Jesus spoke to them again saying : “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.
Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will.
30. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
31. Do not fear therefor; you are of more value than the sparrows
The following is the content, in Afrikaans, of the writing of an unknown author, that was sent to me by a very compassionate friend Gene Jordaan, who is an encourager by nature and community worker by heart.
“Mossiedag” – Pragtige verhaal – lees dit asseblief.
Het jy geweet in die konsentrasiekamp, meer as 100 jaar gelede, sit Anette Marais op ‘n stomp en skud die stof van haar verslete klere af. Rondom haar sit die groepie bekende gesigte van moee vrouens. Net n paar tree verder is die hoe draad van die konsentrasie kamp. Sy slaan haar Bybel oop en begin lees. Sy het in die donker ure van die nag geworstel met God en Hom gesmeek vir ‘n boodskap om hierdie vrouens te bemoedig, want wie weet hoe lank nog….
Anette lees die woorde van Matt 10:29 – “Is twee mossies nie vir ‘n sent te koop nie, en tog sal nie een van hulle op die grond val sonder die wil van julle Vader nie.” Terwyl sy besig is om hierdie woorde te lees, kom sit daar ‘n vaal klein mossie op haar skouer. Die groepie vrouens staar in verbasing na wat voor hulle gebeur, en so word die mossie, die teken van hoop in die onmoontlike omstandighede van die konsentrasie kamp in Bethulie. Dit was fantasties om in die maande wat volg te sien hoe die mossies van Bethulie ‘n baken van geloof en hoop word vir hierdie vrouens.
Op Mei 1902 was die oorlog verby. Anette het op pad terug na haar huis gestop by ‘n vrou met invloed en haar vertel van die mossie-boodksap. Sy het dit weer oorvertel, en Genl. Jan Smuts het in 1923 die mossie op die land se kleinste munstuk (kwatpennie) laat verskyn.
Amper 80 jaar later sit Jak de Priester in ‘n park in London. Sy geld is op, hy kry nie werk nie, hy mis die meisie van sy drome en sonskyn en biltong. Hy slaan sy klein silver Bybeltjie oop en lees die “mossie” boodskap en bid vir die soveelste keer vir werk !
Vroeg die volgende oggend lui sy telefoon en dis die oproep waarvoor hy gewag het. Hy spring op die eerste trein en begin met ‘n lang dag se onderhoude. Moeg maar gelukkig en met permanente werk klim hy weer laatmiddag op die trein. Toe hy inklim sien hy ‘n munstuk op die vloer le, hy tel dit op. En daar in London hou hy ‘n Suid Afrikaanse 1 c in sy hand, met ‘n mossie agter op. Hy vertel dat die wereld rondom hom gaan still staan het, dat hy besef het dat God daar by hom op die trein is en dat gebed sy waarbog is in hierdie stukkende wereld.
Vandag ‘n paar jaar later, skud ek my beursie uit. Ek sit ‘n 1 c neer vir my vriendin met borskanker, nog ‘n een c vir huwelike wat sukkel, ‘n 1 c vir iemand na aan my hart se werksomstandighede, vir enkel ouers en weduwees, en ek besef die mossie boodskap is dalk net een versie in ‘n dik Bybel, maar ‘n Almagitige, liefdevolle God staan agter dit !
Here, dankie, dat daar altyd hoop is Dankie, vir bakens langs die pad wat ons help om geduldig te wees, terwyls ons wag vir U, om op die perfekte tyd ons omstandighed te verander.
Gister terwyl ek vir my kliente sit en wag en ek dieselfde boodskap vir my vrou gestuur het, het 3 mossies op my voertuig se voorste “bushbar” kom sit en het ek dadelike geweet ons Koning praat met my om my gerus te stel. Daar is niemand soos Hy nie en Hy sal altyd na ons kyk en ons versorg. Hy’s net ‘n gebed ver.
Geseende “mossie -dag” vir jou.
Deel met ander om te bemoedig en maak die Here se naam groot !
Mag God Homself ook vandag op ‘n besonderse manier aan jou openbaar..
THE REAL YOU
By tidying up my dream box I have come across some real little treasures that I have kept over the years. They were to precious to throw out then, and are worth sharing now.
This one was sent, via email to me by my son, in 2007. It did not say who the writer was, so I cannot acknowledge him or her. It gives insight into the Word of God, and understanding ourselves a little better. Perhaps it is the call toward wholeness.
The Real “You”
But let it be the hidden man of the heart (1 Peter 3:4)
The one Peter calls the “hidden man of the heart” is the same one the Apostle Paul calls the “inward man” (2 Corinthians 4:16) The inward man is the human spirit, the one who can’t be seen with the optical eyes. The “outward man” is the body with its five senses. Between the outward man and the inward man, the real “you” is the inward man, not the outward man. When you speak, it is the inward man that is talking through your mouth.
You are a spirit being, not a physical body. The body that you see is your house, not the real you (2 Corinthians 5:1) There are too many people that are so concerned about what’s going on in their bodies, that they forget that they are really spirit beings. It’s important to recognise that you are a spirit being, because the man inside is the one that God deals with and relates to, not the physical body. This is the reason the Bible says, “The spirit of man is the candle of the Lord” (Proverbs 20:27)
The Lord relates with your spirit in leading and guiding you, not your mind or your body. The character you exhibit outside is a direct reflection of the state of your spirit, so God knows that if He can work on that man, the one outward will be fine. When you begin to walk in this consciousness you’ll live beyond physical circumstances; your body will begin to comply with the inward man and your life will be supernatural everyday.
Dear Father, I pray that you would grant me, according to the riches of your glory, to be strengthened with might by Your Spirit in my inner man, and that Christ may dwell in my spirit by faith, in Jesus name. Amen.
Further Study :
Romans 7:22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man.
1 Thessalonians 5:23 : And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Written by a friend, Judy Phohorilla
Scriptures : Exodus 3:4
A small shrub called Dictamnus Album may have been Moses burning bush. This plant gives off a flammable vapour and has been known to spontaneously combust in the desert sun. Its uniqueness for Moses was that it did not burn up. It is in Ex 3:4 when Moses takes a closer look that God chooses to call out his name. God waited for Moses to respond to this extraordinary event.
God may use unexpected sources when communicating to us too, whether by people or experiences and especially through His Word.
Perhaps we need to be willing to investigate doors that the Lord opens for us and be open to His surprises.
Read Isaiah 28:23 and this week “give attention and hear My speech”.
Have an open heart and mind to God’s plans for you this week.
THE BIBLE IS THE WORD OF GOD
The Bible is the Word of God, in essence God’s call to all who would hear and listen to what He has to say, about His creation, to His people who are called by His name, and to all who want to be wise in His ways of doing life, and having life in abundance.
All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3: 1,17.
It would, therefore, make a whole lot of sense to create a space to listen, to hear, and to respond to His Wisdom for everyday living.
These pages are meant to encourage a seeing eye, a listening ear and an understanding heart, that comes by reading the Word of God.
It is hoped that this random sharing of the Scriptures will convey His wisdom and His love, to all who read these posts … and hear God calling out to them.