Waiting Rooms

 

I had to get up earlier than usual so that I could travel the distance and arrive early for my appointment at the oncologist’s waiting rooms.
The invader had returned.  And so I had to go through the process of assessment, markings, being escorted to the other building where registration,  x-rays and scans were done for more markings and measurements.    All done professionally and regimentally with precision and courtesy.  There were other patients waiting their turn, and so I had to wait my turn too.   But the waiting for me was not an inconvenience.   I love to sit and observe the passing parade, whether it be in traffic, or in the waiting rooms of life.

I  remember being in this place before, when I had to come in for the original scanning process at the beginning of my cancer challenge.   Strangely the whole building, the registration, the waiting-foyer all seemed much smaller than I remembered.

That very long corridor which I sat in waiting for the radiographer to call my name, was not so long now.
Long corridor

It still had the beautiful seascape paintings on the wall, but somehow it was not so daunting.    I wondered why.
Is it that memory shrinks the environment.  Or is it that when one is fearful of the unknown that everything seems bigger and a little overwhelming?
It is like when you return to your childhood home, or school, that everything now seems much smaller.   An interesting phenomena.

There were three others waiting for their treatment, and so I had a chunk of time to pass.
I read a magazine. And then scrutinised the paintings, thinking how I could perhaps re create them when I started my drawing again.    And then I thought to use the time to write.  I had brought my notebook with me.    All I saw was the blank wall, literally and figuratively, nothing creative would come to mind.

Gloom CloudBut what I did see was the cloud of doom hovering over the other patients’ heads.   There was a sense of gloom, and a sense of duty in the corridor as the clinic sisters hurried along with their work.   But even they seemed to have the gloom cloud over them.

Eventually all the necessary scanning preparation work was done, and I had to return to the oncologist’s rooms again.
Now more waiting.   But here was a large TV screen, and South Africa was playing India in the Cricket World Cup.   I watched for a while, but lost interest, so decided to inconspicuously observe  the other cancer patients instead.   And though the waiting room was light and colourful with flowers in vases and the TV screen there was an air of travail in the room too.   It was as if the people’s problems were very present in the room with them.  There was a certain amount of gloom in the room.     And understandably so, cancer is a serious problem, an  almost insurmountable problem, with its own sense of burden and invisible gloom. In some there was a resignation to the suffering of the disease.   In others there seem to be a bearable tolerance of the inevitable.   We were all wrestling in our own way with the fate that had befallen us.
There was a certain gloom, but there was hope too.  Treatment of whatever kind meant there was help, and the people in the medical and healing professions, who have great expertise, also  have important caring attitudes that carry the cancer patients through in times of illness and desperation.  Kindness is a good companion in the healing process.

I came away with further appointments in hand, for ongoing treatment.   But somewhere  in the waiting rooms, I had resolved not to pick up on the gloom, but to rather look on the soaring side of hope,  and choose joy when gloom wants to press in to order the mood of the moment.

soaring eagle

But those who wait on the Lord,
Shall renew their strength,
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 42:31

8 thoughts on “Waiting Rooms”

  1. “Kindness is a good companion in the healing process.”
    So very true! The joy of the Lord is our strength. God’s goodness is a very real presence.
    I have not ceased praying for you since I first heard of your travail. Though you gave a positive report since then, I knew that could change and kept praying. Now I will amend and intensify those prayers once again. The Lord’s peace be with you, Carol. 🙏 😊

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    1. Thank you g.w for your kind and uplifting words, and your care-filled prayers. I need them at this time.
      This challenge is an unique journey, taken one step at at time. Each step brings with it emotional turmoil that wants to break boundaries. And that may not be a bad thing, because how else do we get out of our comfort zones, and knowing the Lord in new ways? But I need to constantly remind myself of what one of my favourite preachers said, as ‘in the beginning,…. God, Who is Love, hovers and broods over the chaos,.. to make something new out of the old’. And I know He is faithful !
      Thank you for your thoughtfulness, I appreciate you. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is moving, perceptive and intelligent. I so related to, “It is like when you return to your childhood home, or school, that everything now seems much smaller.”
    Maybe at first, cancer loomed large and utterly intimidating, like the place where it was treated. Now both seem smaller, less overwhelming. Maybe you put cancer in its proper place.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your warm and affirming response, which means so much at this time. ❤
      I try to keep a cool and objective head through it all, not always getting it right, as the emotions want to run rampant, if not restrained.
      Being overwhelmed can be a condition of the human heart, and that explains why small things seem to be so big at the time. Thanks for the perspective, 😊 …… and hugs to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you. We seem to see this weight and cloud even over others outside buildings, not knowing who they are or what they are dealing with. How blessed we are to have this hope and to share it with others. Much love, prayer, and blessings for you.

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    1. Thanks Frances for your love, prayers and blessings at this time. It is much needed, and helps to keep the boat steady in troubled waters.
      We are not only blessed to have this hope, but also to have the love and support of others who are in Christ, even though we are far apart and have not met in person. His Love rules, and knows no boundaries. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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